LIKE A magic carpet
ride to peace & joy
Being a butt-owner is hard.
Introducing calm, powered by gravity.
We know...
you “can’t meditate”
You’re not bad at meditating,
you’re just really good at thinking.
How Butt-Owners Attempt Mindfulness
Tried
meditating once.
meditating once.
Thought about
literally everything.
literally everything.
Sat. But, you still insist
you “can’t meditate.”
you “can’t meditate.”
DOING NOTHING REALLY
DOES SOMETHING
DOING NOTHING REALLY
DOES SOMETHING
Taking the weight off your shoulders
and putting it under your butt.
Side Effects of Sitting
📵 Puts You on Airplane Mode
😮💨 Cushions the Chaos (Inside and Out)
🎢 Reduces Emotional Whiplash
🫁 Resets Breathing to Factory Settings
ADVANCED BUTTGRADE
TECHNOLOGY
The only upgrade that starts by powering down.
Just sit. You’ll update automatically.
Engineered for
Max Sit-isfaction
Supports Your Back
and Your Butt
Filled with 6 lbs
Buckwheat
Washable
Fabric Cover
Thoughtfully
Sourced
ZERO ENLIGHTENMENT
REQUIRED, JUST GRAVITY
A minute of stillness does more
than an hour of scrolling.
